Treat You Better
by LovingMyDoctor
Summary: Harleen Quinzel is stuck between her finance Bruce Wayne and her former patient The Joker. When things change for the worse, Mr. J is the only person Harleen can trust, but will he ever forgive her for rejecting him? Based on Letos Joker and Christian Bales Batman and probably slightly OOC. Rated M for language and violence! Harley&Joker pairing, kind of. Please R&R!
1. Wrong Situation

**Treat You Better**

* * *

A/N: Hi guys, I'm back with my second Harley/Joker fanfiction. For me this is a beginning of a new era, so this story means a lot to me.  
This is a different Harley/Joker story, slightly OOC with a romanticised Joker and an evil Batman, but that's what makes this story fun :D I just felt like writing it and if you guys feel like reading it we have a done deal.

* * *

 **I**

 **"Wrong Situation"**

 _I won't lie to you  
I know he's just not right for you  
And you can tell me if I'm off  
But I see it on your face  
When you say that he's the one that you want  
And you're spending all your time  
In this wrong situation_

* * *

The pain was excruciating. I had never felt like this before. When I sat up the room moved with me and a groan escaped my lips.

My hands reached out to touch my swollen face and I flinched at my own touch.

"Bruce?"

There was no answer and I breathed out calmly. At least he wasn't here. When I looked at the alarm clock next to my bed I could see it was past 11. He was long gone in the office, but maybe he'd come by at noon to check on me. Or apologise.

After the room stopped moving I pushed myself off the bed and swayed momentarily but then began to move to our shared bathroom. Although I could feel the wounds the sight of my face was still a shook.

My right eye was swollen shut, my cheek bruised, my lips swollen and bloody. My arms were blue, and his fingerprints were all over my chest and arms.

Tears burned in my eyes as a voice inside me calmly said: _If you don't leave now, he will kill you._

I took a deep shuddering breath, turned away from the mirror. As I sat down on the edge of the bathtub I couldn't stop myself from bursting into tears. For minutes I sat there weeping and sobbing. My body shook terribly.

 _He's going to kill me._ I thought miserably. _He's going to kill me._

The ringing of my phone interrupted my thoughts and I stood up taking a deep breath, wiped my tears and went back into the bedroom.

"Hello? This is Dr. Quinzel speaking." My voice didn't quiver at all.

"Quinzi!" A loud voice screeched at the other end. It was Sarah, my colleague and friend. "I wanted to talk to you about tonight!"

"Tonight?" I repeated rubbing my hurt head.

" _Your engagement party!"_ She exclaimed happily and I suppressed the urge to groan loudly again. The engagement party.

"Bruce will be there at seven and he told me to tell _you_ that you should take good care of yourself so you look your best tonight!" Sarah sighed dramatically. "Harleen you're so lucky, marrying _Bruce Wayne_!"

Yeah, lucky was a word that described this relationship.

"So I was thinking, we could go to –"

I hung up. Sara wasn't my friend anymore. She was Bruces friend. Everyone in this entire fucking city was Bruce Waynes friend. He was the good one, the one everyone looked up to and the one who deserved all the good things life had to offer him.

And if he beat the living crap out of Harleen Quinzel it was because she had deserved it. Why did she have to upset him the way she did? Why couldn't she just do what he liked?

 _He's going to kill me._

I stood up from the bed, went to our shared closet and got out all the clean clothes I could find. Then I hurried into the shower.

Things had been bad for a while now. But last night had been the worst. The warm water splashed down onto my sore skin and I couldn't fight my tears any longer. Bruce and I had been so happy once.

" _No stop!" I yelled as he lunged for me again. Laughter errupted from my mouth, as Bruce continued to tickle me._

" _Say it then!"_

 _I couldn't speak because I was laughing so hard._

" _Come on Harleen!" Bruce grinned and I doubled over in laughter._

" _Ok!" I gasped. "Ok." I took a deep breath. "I pinky swear that I will always for the rest of my life not wear glasses until I actually need them."_

" _See?" Bruce laughed. "That's how easy it is to get rid of your compulsions, doctor."_

 _I laughed underneath him. "Thanks that's good to know. From now on I'll tell my patients to just pink swear and all their problems with disappear."_

 _Bruce chuckled. "You should try it, I'm sure it will work!"_

 _I smiled up at him. I loved this silly side of him. His brown eyes had the warmest and most loving look in them I had ever seen. No one looked at me the way Bruce Wayne did._

" _What are you thinking about?" He mused._

" _How you make me feel like the most beautiful girl in the world."_

 _The handsome man rolled his eyes. "That's an easy one, Harleen. You_ are _the most beautiful girl in the world."_

 _He pressed his lips against mine and I melted into the kiss and in his arms. Bruce didn't just make me feel beautiful, he made me feel safe. I loved him so much already, even though I hadn't even known him for that long yet. We'd only met a few months ago._

 _Bruce sat up and reached out his hand for me to take. He was very strong, stronger than my boyfriends before had been and I liked that. He pulled me to my feet._

" _So, should we get back to dinner?" He chuckled._

 _I'd told him that I didn't really need my glasses and he'd challenge me to ditch them. We'd started teasing each other, tickling one another and had ended up on the floor. The candle was still burning as we sat down._

" _Why do you wear them?" Bruce asked, taking the glasses off the table and looking through them, noticing that there was no different in the view._

" _They make me feel strong." I admitted as I began to eat the noodles he had cooked for us. They were cold now due to our little stunt, but the still tasted good._

 _Bruce shook his head with a small smile and rolled his eyes. I wouldn't have taken myself seriously either if I was a strong as a presence as him. But it still hurt._

" _Harleen." He said clearly, looking up at me with his warm eyes. "You are the strongest person I know. You're so brave and fearless...I like up to you."_

"You _look up to me?" I repeated. Now I was the one to shake my head in a disbelieving way._

" _When I first met you, I was..." He began looking for the right word. When his eyes met mine he smiled at me. "_ Astonished _. Not just by your beauty obviously." I blushed under his look. "But by your presence. They way you walk around Arkham..." Bruce leaned in forward and the two of us stopped eating. "You're in control there, you're unafraid and you believe in what you do. The world needs more people like you, Harleen."_

 _I continued to blush and reached for my wine glass. "You're making me sound like a hero."_

" _You_ are _a hero."_

 _I giggled. "I'm not like Batman or anything!"_

 _Bruce chuckled at this comparison as well, probably because it was so ridiculous._

" _There a different kind of heroes, Harleen."_

" _Yeah." I took a sip of wine. "But if you're out in Gotham at night and someone assaults you, you wouldn't want_ me _to come the rescue."_

" _Maybe not no." He grinned. "But I think if I was in such a place as Arkham I'd like to have you as my light in the darkness."_

 _I had to laugh even though his words were so kind. "I don't think my patients see me as a light, Bruce. More like an annoyance."_

 _Bruce wasn't laughing, when he looked up at me. "You're my light Harleen. You rescued me out my own darkness I had no idea I was stuck in. You just...you changed my life completely from the moment I met you."_

 _I reached out to touch his hand. "I feel the same way about you, Bruce."_

 _He had once told me that he had lost the woman he'd loved. That she had been murdered. I'd never experienced grief like that, but before meeting him I had been unhappy. And he lit my life up._

 _When we had first met I'd known. I'd taken his hand in mine and looked into his eyes and there was an instant chemistry I hadn't felt before. My boyfriends before had been different. I was younger then and we never really connected. We just had sex and broke up when things weren't as perfect as they had been before. It wasn't the same with Bruce. We took things slowly and took time to connect with each other._

It was 11:45 when I left our apartment. I only took a few sets of clothes and my toothbrush. I left everything else behind. After I closed the door, I breathed out relieved. Then I looked down at my hand, saw the huge diamond ring, opened the door again and threw the ring inside. Things had started to go downhill once the Joker had arrived at Arkham. When he became my patient however Bruce changed completely.

" _Harleen!"_

 _The door closed loudly behind him and I jumped because of the bang._

" _Bruce, what's wrong?"_

 _When he stepped into the kitchen I could tell he was seriously upset. His hair was dishevelled, his face red with anger and he was panting._

" _What's wrong?!" He snapped and that's when I saw the newspaper in his hand._ "Dr. Harleen Quinzel fights to protect the Joker in Arkham, refusing to treat him with shock-therapy. Although most of her colleagues disagree Dr. Quinzel does not believe it would improve his situation and she does not want to subject him to unnecessary pain." _He threw the paper onto the table. "What the hell is wrong with you?!"_

 _I held up my hand as he stepped closer. "Bruce –"_

" _Unnecessary pain?!" He yelled. "Do you know what this...this_ thing _has done?!"_

" _He's still a human, Bruce." My voice shook slightly as his hand gripped my shoulder painfully. "And the shock-therapy wouldn't help him, not yet at least. I need to speak with him some more and...and you know I hate the procedure...I've never believed in it..."_

 _No matter what I said, his rage seemed to just grow by the second. His grip hurt, but I was frozen and couldn't defend myself._

" _This isn't about your beliefs! He_ killed _the love of my life!"_

" _I'm sorry about that, but that doesn't mean we get to abuse him –"_

 _That's when he hit me against the cheek with his fist. Pain radiated through me as my head was pushed to the side. Tears burned in my eyes as I stared at him, unable to move or say anything. My shock was mirrored in his face._

" _I'm so sorry!" He cried out and pulled me against him. "I'm so sorry, Harleen. Please forgive me, please. I'm so sorry!"_

 _I hugged him back tightly and the two of us cried in each others arms and I ended up comforting him. He had no idea what had come over him. He promised me it would never happen again. And it didn't. Until two weeks later._

I was on my own now. My Mum loved Bruce more than anyone else, because he was going to make me and (eventually her) rich. She would be no help. Sara had also fallen victim to his charm. There was one man here in Gotham City who was no friend of Bruce Wayne. The Joker was the only person I could go to now. The only question was whether he would forgive me or not.

* * *

So what do you guys think? :)


	2. A Gentleman

**Treat You Better**

* * *

A/N: Thank you for all your kind emails and your support!

* * *

 **II**

" **A Gentleman"**

 _I know I can treat you better than he can **  
**And any girl like you deserves a gentleman **  
**Tell me, why are we wasting time **  
**On all your wasted crying **  
**When you should be with me instead? **  
**I know I can treat you better **  
**Better than he can_

* * *

I'd pulled my hood up and had headed out into the busy streets of Gotham City. Taking the car would have been to risky, because Bruce would be able to track me. I roughly knew where Mr. J lived and decided to take the bus to his part of town. When I sat down, I leaned my head against the window and closed my eyes. For the first time in months I felt safe.

" _Well my father used to say, no pain no gain." The Clown of Crime grinned sheepishly. "You get used to it." There was a dreamy look in his eyes, but then he caught himself again and said: "Now tell me Dr. Quinzel, what is it that makes Bruce Wayne so attractive to you?"_

 _I kept my gaze on the notepad in my hands. I had set myself up for this. He was allowed to ask me one question per session. Of course he would want to know about my private life. That's what was interesting after all. I lifted my gaze and my eyes met his. The Joker had the most beautiful eyes I'd ever seen. That's how he managed to manipulate people._

" _Bruce and I fit well together." I explained and found myself wishing these words were true. "He's considerate, understanding and a gentlemen."_

 _Last night we had yelled at each other for a little over an hour. How I could possibly be working with the scum of the earth and wasting my time trying to_ help _them when everyone knew it was useless. How sick to his stomach it made him that I was spending my time with the Joker. How this couldn't go on._

" _Does he make you laugh?"_

 _I held his gaze. "Yes."_

 _Mr. J began to laugh in a slow manner. "Hahahahaha_ ha. _You're a terrible liar, Doctor."_

" _He doesn't have to be funny!" I snapped now. "We're happy together, that's all that matters!"_

 _He arched his non-existent eyebrow and then coldly said: "You're not happy, Dr. Quinzel." He leaned forward and his blue eyes bore themselves into mine. "That man makes you_ miserable _and you know it. If you were with me I would make you laugh, I would treat you the way you deserve."_

" _The sessions over!" I closed my notepad, jumped out of my seat and yelled: "Guard!"_

 _Mr. J began chuckling again and even when I was at home I could still hear his laughter and longed to be able to laugh with him._

* * *

 _My cheek hurt, but I'd covered the bruise up with make-up. This morning I'd woken up to roses lying in my bed and a beautiful black dress I'd wanted for months. Bruce had gotten it for me as a surprise, my birthday wasn't for another two months. And then he had called me from work, asking how I had slept, whether I was ok. He could come home, if I wanted him to...I assured him it was fine and that I loved him. That I forgave him._

 _Nobody at worked asked about my face. The make-up covered it very well. And if they did ask, then I had fallen and hit my cheek against the corner of our table in the kitchen. People would believe that._

" _Good morning, Mr. J." I stepped inside. "How are you feeling today?"_

" _I want to be subjected to_ unnecessary pain! _" He whined and looked up at me amused. He was chewing loudly and I held out my hand with a sigh._

" _Where did you get the gum?"_

" _Wouldn't you like to know." He chucked._

" _Spit it out Mr. J."_

 _He growled and then spat the sticky and wet substance into my hand. I put it away in a tissue and wiped my hand clean._

" _If you put that in your mouth then it's like we kissed."_

 _I shouldn't have been, but I was surprised at his words as I looked up at him. "That's disgusting."_

 _He chuckled happily and I took out my notepad, ready to take notes._

" _What was that you were saying about pain?"_

 _The Joker grinned. "As touching as it is that you want to_ protect _me from being_ subjected _to_ unnecessary _pain." He chuckled as he quoted the newspaper article. "There's no need for it. Unnecessary pain is kind of my thing, you know."_

" _Who gave you the newspaper?"_

" _The tooth-fairy, we made a good deal." He grinned showing me all of his metal teeth, but I wasn't in the mood for jokes:_

" _Mr. J."_

 _He rolled his eyes and muttered. "One of the guards was watching me and I asked if he could read the paper out to me." He smiled. "He also offered me some gum."_

 _I shook my head. Information was prohibited for inmates, especially if they could use it against the staff in anyway and as for the chewing gum...that was strictly forbidden for safety measures. He could suffocate on them._

" _You should electro-shock me." Mr. J said. "It will be fun!"_

 _I held his gaze locked with me. "I don't enjoy hurting other people Mr. J."_

 _He threw his head back. "Ha! Then you're probably doing it wrong, doctor."_

" _What is it that you like about hurting others?"_

 _The Joker was already bored with my question and instead of answering he asked: "Doctor, can I call you Harley?" He chuckled. "If you abbreviate your name, you're Harley Quinn."_

" _Like the Harlequin, yeah I know. And no you aren't allowed to call me that."_

" _Harley." He said suddenly ignoring my command. "I have a confession to make."_

" _A confession?" I asked, leaning in. "A crime you haven't taken credit for yet?"_

" _Yes!" He said dramatically. "The worst crime ever committed!"_

 _I took a deep breath. This was important. Any mistake and he wouldn't tell me. "What did you do, Mr. J?"_

" _Harley." He sighed. "I've fallen in love."_

 _I groaned inwardly. I really had to stop falling for his charades. "You did what?"_

" _I fell in love against all my better judgement." He sighed dramatically and a dreamy look appeared on his face. "She's beautiful, funny and brave. Braver than she knows she is. But..." He paused for a dramatic effect. "I can never be with her!"_

" _Why not?"_

" _Because doctors aren't supposed to date their patients."_

 _My head shot up from my notes. "What?!"_

 _He smiled and it that moment my heart stopped. It was such a cliché, but his eyes were so beautiful._

" _I'm in love with you Harley." He said matter-of-factly. "You and I belong together. Don't you feel the connection between us? I felt it the moment our eyes met for the first time."_

 _I had felt it too. But this was ridiculous._

" _Mr. J." I said. "You know there is nothing between us. You are my patient and well...I'm taken."_

" _I get it." He sighed sadly. "Why would you be with me if you could be with rich and handsome Bruce Wayne?" He leaned in and then whispered: "But I can promise you, there is one thing I can offer you that Brucie can't."_

 _I was too intrigued to rebuke him about the nickname and also leaned in._

" _And what's that Mr.J?"_

" _I can do one hell of a hand-jive." He said it in such a serious tone I needed to a second to understand he was joking. But once I got he was messing with me I couldn't help it and burst out in laughter and he joined me._

" _Ow." Without thinking it through I reached for my cheek that hurt while I was laughing._

 _Mr. J's laughter vanished instantly as he glared at me. I avoided his gaze and put my hand down slowly. He knew. The look in his eyes said everything._

" _How long has it been going on?"_

" _It hasn't." I took a deep breath, trying to steady myself. "It only happened once."_

" _Oh Honey." It was in that moment that he stopped being my patient. I was the one in need of help and he knew it._

" _It's no big deal."_

" _It is." Mr. J leaned back in my seat. "And I can't do it right now, but I promise you, if I were able to I'd take your hand in mine and I'd hold it and listen to all the apologises he's given to you. Then I'd pull you into my into my arms and hold you until you felt safe again. Dr. Quinzel, I'd protect you and fight of everyone who tries to hurt you." He paused and softly said: "Because that's what you do with the people you love."_

 _There were many things I could have said, but there was only one coherent thought I could muster, as I blinked away my tears: "You can call me Harley, Mr. J."_

* * *

" _Harley?"_

 _My heart skipped a beat and I tried to scold myself, but it seemed impossible in this room, with him. At home I told myself he was manipulating me, using me even, but the truth was: I was in love with him. When I was alone at home I longed to be back with him. He made me happy. He made me feel alive. He made me feel like I was worth something._

 _Bruce's moods were getting worse. We argued constantly and he had hit me a few times again. I knew he was sorry, I knew I was hurting him by not being able to behave the way he wanted me to. He wanted me to stop treating the Joker, but I couldn't have stopped just as I couldn't have stopped breathing. I didn't know if he knew that though._

 _In the past few weeks, Mr. had revealed a lot about himself. About his past, his parents, his wife, his girlfriends...and as he let me look into his deranged mind I felt like I was looking into my own soul. I didn't want it, I couldn't fight it. He and I were made from the same material._

" _Yes, Puddin'?" I'd started calling him that and he hadn't objected._

" _I want to tell you a secret." He smiled nodding at me._

 _Intrigued I leaned in._

" _You need to lean in closer." Mr. J said. "It's a huge secret. No one else is allowed to know, you're the only one I trust."_

 _I leaned in even more._

" _Closer, Harley. I need to whisper it to you."_

 _I was practically lying on the table and stood up from my chair to bid his wish._

" _Closer." He sighed._

 _I leaned in and was about to tell him that this was the best I could do, when he leaned in as well and suddenly pressed his lips against mine. I was surprised by how warm and soft his lips were. I kissed him back, reaching my hands around his neck and pulling him closer, deeper into the sweetest kiss I had ever shared with anyone._

 _I was in love with him and I couldn't fight it any longer._

* * *

" _Dr. Quinzel...you know I live for these moments with you." His voice had something melodic, something soothing._

 _I couldn't help but smile as I leaned in to kiss him. I lived for these moments with him too. Mr. J returned the kiss in the softest manner. You wouldn't believe it. There was a voice of reason somewhere inside of me that told me this was crazy, he didn't mean it. He was using me._

 _But it disappeared the moment I looked into his blue eyes. Although he was a murderer and a madman he had the most innocent, child-like eyes I had ever seen._

 _The Joker possessed a beauty which only a handful of people got to share. It was the kind of beauty that made people do the craziest things, go against all of their beliefs just to be a part of it._

" _Harley." He muttered against my lips. "I love you, Harley."_

 _I loved him too._

 _Bruce never called me Harley. For him I was also strictly Harleen._

 _Mr. J leaned back and I saw confusion flicker in his eyes when he said: "You're thinking about him again."_

 _I dropped my gaze. It was an impossibility for me to lie to him._

" _Sorry."_

" _I need to know you're in this 100 percent, Harley."_

" _I am." I reached over the table to touch his cheek. "I want to be with you, Puddin'."_

 _He closed his eyes at my touch and leaned his cheek against my hand. Bruce and I hadn't been working for a while now. It wasn't just that he didn't make me happy any more. We both seemed to be making each other unhappy._

 _And Mr. J? Well he made me laugh and he and I were made for each other. We were soulmates._

" _Did he hit you again?" He asked and opened his eyes. I pulled my hand back and dropped my gaze. I didn't need to say anything. Mr. J knew. He always knew._

" _When I get out I am going to kill him." He promised._

" _Batman would never let you get away with it." I disagreed. "He's the star of Gotham."_

 _Mr. J shook his head. "Why are you still with him, Harley? I would never treat you like he does. Never!"_

" _Don't be mad." I begged. "Please."_

 _The Joker rolled his eyes. "Stop looking at me like that. You know it always works."_

" _I'll leave him when you're out of here." I said as I stood up to come closer to him. "Then you can hide me and I'll be safe with you."_

" _I can kidnap him." He mused. "And keep him locked in the cellar."_

" _Not if I'm living in the house." I sat down on his lap and put my arms around his neck. "Once you're out of here Bruce won't be a problem anymore, I promise."_

" _Hmm." He muttered._

" _Tell me about the plan." I said, knowing this would brighten his mood. His escape-plan was his favourite topic._

" _Well, you my little Harlequin have done a very good job so far." He leaned forward to kiss my nose and bit it playfully. "All I need now is a machine gun."_

" _A machine gun?" I repeated laughing._

" _Yes baby, a machine gun." He kissed me deeply and the world around us vanished._

* * *

" _Harley!" The Joker spread his arms out when he saw me and I hurried towards him. I had never seen him like this. Out of a straight-jacket, bare-chested, covered in tattoos._

" _Mr. J!" I hurried over to him, stepping over a dead guard and into his arms._

" _Harley." He sighed into my hair, as he pulled me close. "You did so good, baby. Daddy's very proud of you."_

 _I closed my eyes and pressed my face into the crook of his neck. I had never felt so safe before in my entire life, even if there bullets flying around and people screaming everywhere._

" _I need to go now." He stepped back, taking hold of my face and kissing my lips. "Come with me."_

" _No." I muttered against his skim. "You know I can't. I'll meet you at the Chemical Plant later, I promise."_

" _I love you Harley." He kissed me and then hit me across the face just as we had planned so that I lost consciousness._

* * *

 _I couldn't tell what felt heavier. My hand with the ring or my heart with the guilt. The Chemical Plant was empty as he said it would be._

" _Mr. J?"_

" _Harley!" He sounded happy as he hurried towards me. He looked so good, with a purple leather coat, black trousers and no socks or shoes._

" _Aren't you cold?"_

 _He chuckled thinking I was joking and didn't answer. Instead he stepped closer and took my face into his hands, leaned in and kissed me deeply. His hands slid from my face into my hair, down to my waist as he pulled me closer. He had never kissed me like this. It had been impossible due to his straight-jacket._

" _Puddin'..." I sighed as he began to kiss my neck._

" _Let's go home, Harley. You'll love it. I prepared everything for you."_

" _Wait." I pushed him away gently. "Mr. J..."_

 _He stepped away, taking my hand in his. "I bought you new clothes Harley, you have an entire room filled with them and we have a new bed. A big one for the two of us."_

" _Mr. J." I took my hand from his. "Tonight Bruce asked me to marry him and I said yes."_

 _His mouth opened in surprise and his eyes widened, but he didn't say anything. That was good because then I could say all I wanted to:_

" _I don't regret helping you and I will not tell anyone about our time together and our plans. You don't belong in Arkham, but you and I..." I lifted my shoulders helplessly. "I should never have let it come this far. You were my patient and I encouraged your behaviour, I took advantage of you." He scoffed, shaking his head. "I did, Mr. J and it was wrong and I'm sorry. You needed my help and I let my own problems get in the way. It wasn't right towards you, I'm sorry."_

 _Mr. J shook his head, rubbed his chin and muttered: "I shoulda electro-shocked you when I had the chance." He stepped closer and asked: "Who put these ideas in your head? Who did you talk to?"_

" _No one, it's common sense."_

" _It's bullshit!" Rage shone in his eyes. "Let me tell you something, Doctor._ You're _the one who needs help. You're scared of being with somone who doesn't treat you like shit. You're scared of something real."_

" _Maybe." It wasn't like I could really argue against him... "But it's still the right decision to end it here. We wouldn't have worked out."_

" _You don't know that!" He snapped. "I would have done anything for you Harley and you...you choose him?! Are you fucking kidding me?! I could treat you so much better and I'm a madman!" I flinched at his loud voice, as he continued to pace. "I_ love _you, I...ah!" In his frustration he pulled at his green hair. "I've made such a fool of myself!"_

" _I'm sorry." I couldn't help but crying at seeing him so upset. "I'm so sorry, but you know it's for the best, Puddin!"_

" _For the best!" He repeated disgusted._

" _I need to go." I wiped my tears. "I'm so sorry, Mr. J. Please forgive me. One day you'll realise I was right. We were both seeing things in the other person that weren't real."_

" _Oh believe me, Darlin'..." He growled. "My view is perfectly clear. He is going to kill you, he will never stop hurting you."_

" _Goodbye." I pressed my hand against my mouth to stifle my sob and hurried to the exit._

" _You're going back to someone who will put you in a coma if he doesn't kill you!" He yelled after me. "And people say_ I'm _crazy!"_

* * *

"The boss is sleeping." The man at the door said in a bored tone.

"Well then wake him up!" I snapped.

"Listen, doctor. I don't know how you know where Mr. J lives, but you need to get going right now –"

I pushed myself past Mr. J's henchman and stormed into the house.

"Get me Mr. J!" I snapped. "I need to see him right now!"

I took a shuddering breath and tried to keep my composure. The last thing I needed was to burst into tears now. Forgiveness wasn't in his nature. I knew that. But maybe pity was. Or some sort of possessive rage. Anything to let me stay and keep my safe for a while.

Footsteps sounded behind me and I took another deep breath.

"Harley?" He sounded surprised. But it was him. I'd finally see him again!

I turned around.

* * *

A/N: Yes a cliffhanger! :D Please tell me what you think! What do you think of this Joker?


	3. Everything I need

A/N: Guys, I can't even...I'm so sorry I haven't uploaded in so long. Thank you for each message and review and your kind words!

* * *

 **III**

" **Everything I need"**

 _I'll stop time for you  
The second you say you'd like me to  
I just wanna give you the loving that you're missing  
Baby, just to wake up with you  
Would be everything I need and this could be so different **  
**Tell me what you want to do_

* * *

Mr. J's face showed more emotions than I had hoped for: Shock, Realisation, Rage.

"Harley." He sounded tired as he stepped closer. "What happened?"

I knew exactly what I wanted to say. On the bus ride over here I'd prepared for this conversation. But as I looked up at him all I could do was cry. I stepped forward and so did the Joker. He caught me and I sobbed in his arms.

"You were right. About everything."

"I know." He said sadly as he put his arms around tightly and then added: "I usually am."

"I didn't know where else to go."

Mr. J pressed his face against my hair and breathed in deeply. "I know."

"Can I stay here?" I asked as I looked up at him. "Please? I don't know where else I should go. Please let me stay."

The Joker stepped back and took hold of my bruised face.

"You need to see a doctor."

My heart skipped a beat at his words. Bruce Wayne was something of a celebrity here in Gotham and as his fiancée I shared some of his fame. I couldn't just walk into the hospital looking the way I did. But I was starting to have trouble breathing...my torso really hurt.

"Johnny." Mr. J let go of my face again. "Give the doc a cal. He needs to come for an emergency."

The man who had answered the door stepped into my view. He looked handsome, somehow too handsome to be working here.

"Yes, boss."

"Is that all you took with you?" Mr. J pointed at the small bag at my feet and I nodded.

"I didn't know when he'd be back, so I just took all the contents of my closet and got out of there."

The Joker didn't ask me what happened. I saw two reasons as of why he didn't. The first was he didn't have to and he already knew what had happened. The second was that he didn't care about the details of what had happened. I liked that about him.

"You can stay here for a while." He said in an emotionless tone. I couldn't tell if he was angry or not. "Let me show you your room."

I picked up my small bag and followed him. Mr. J lived in a large villa that reminded me of Bruce's living accommodation. He had wanted me to move in with him, but I had said no. That's when we moved into the apartment together. Once we got married we were going to move into his villa again...although I was pretty sure we weren't getting married.

It was only when we were at the top of the stairs that I realised what he had said. Your room. He wasn't being a host. He really had once prepared a room for me. But I hadn't accepted.

The room was very big and it reminded me of a Disney-Movie: There was a thick warm carpet in a dark red tone, a large bed, with red and blue curtains draped around it, a wide black closet, probably filled with clothes.

"There's a bathroom over there." The Joker pointed to a door opposite the large bed.

Under different circumstances I might have squealed in delight, checked the closet, ran into the bathroom and looked at what he had prepared for me.

But this was no delightful situation, so I only set my bag on the bed and felt overwhelmed by tiredness very suddenly, very harshly. My shoulders sagged, my head bent down. I didn't know what to say.

"Ill send the doc up." Mr. J still had his very emotionless tone. "He's used to handling things discreetly."

When he had already opened the door to leave I was finally able to speak again.

"Thank you."

The insecurity in my voice was clear as day, it even sounded like a question. There was a pause so long I thought he had left but then I heard his voice, steady as a rock.

"You're welcome."

The door closed and I sat down on the bed with a small sigh. How could one day be so long? How could I feel so tired?

" _And I can't do it right now, but I promise you, if I were able to I'd take your hand in mine and I'd hold it and listen to all the apologises he's given to you. Then I'd pull you into my into my arms and hold you until you felt safe again. Dr. Quinzel, I'd protect you and fight of everyone who tries to hurt you." He paused and softly said: "Because that's what you do with the people you love."_

People you love. I fell back onto the large bed. It was so much softer than the bed I'd been sharing with Bruce.

I didn't know what to do, I didn't even know what to feel. Mr. J had been my patient. He was a sick and deranged man. He was a murderer who tortured people for fun.

 _And Bruce?_ I asked myself. _What is he?_

The Joker was sick and deranged yes, but at least he was honest about it. Getting involved with him was dangerous and that was clear. And Bruce?

He pulled me into his false sense of love and security and let me down over and over again.

So, really who was the deranged one? Mr. J? Bruce? Or was it maybe me? Loving someone who hurt me and loving someone who was utterly insane...maybe all of this was my fault.

There was a knock on the door that interrupted my thoughts.

"Miss Quinzel?"

Tears burned in my eyes because honestly I didn't know who I was any more. Miss Quinzel, Harley or Mrs. Wayne.

I was pretty sure I was none of these women and yet all of them at the same time.

"Yes?" I didn't know what else to say.

"My name is Dr. Ehrens. I understand you have some injuries?"

I laughed humourlessly. Some injuries. Laughing hurt and I groaned.

"Yes, come in please."

The door opened and the doctor stepped in. He wasn't wearing a white coat, but just jeans and a black sweater. I sat up and winced and he hurried to my side immediately. When his eyes met mine there was no shock in his face and I guess he was used to sights like this.

He pulled a chair in front of the bed and sat down before me, studying my face.

"Are you heart anywhere else?"

I nodded. "My upper torso hurts."

He didn't seem surprised and he probably remembered kicking me when I was down.

"Miss Quinzel I need you to take of your blouse."

And I'm laughing, gasping for breath as pain radiates through my body.

"That's the nicest way you've ever asked for sex, Bruce."

Confusion crosses his face but he quickly recovered. "I'm sorry. Please, take of your blouse. You might have bruised your ribs."

" _I_ might have bruised my ribs?! You're the one who did this!"

"I don't understand. Please let me help you, Miss." With that he stepped closer and reached out to touch me and I screamed as loudly as I could, so Mr. J would hear and get him off me.

"No! Get away from me! No! Help!"

"Please, Miss –"

" _Don't touch me!_ " I slapped him, trying my best to get away from him. I was so fed up with Bruce hurting me, I'd had it. And why was he even here? The Joker would kill him and in that moment I wanted him to.

"Help!"

Finally the door flew open and once again I was faced with a very angry man. Fire blazing in his blue eyes as he strode towards us.

"What the _hell_ is going on here, Doc?!"

"I don't know!" Bruce was terrified and I was loving every minute of it. "I swear Mr. J! I wanted to check her injuries and then she suddenly lost it."

"Keep him away from me, Mr. J!" I sobbed. "Please, why is he here?!"

The anger in his eyes ceased as he pushed himself between Bruce and me. "He's here to help you, Harley."

"He's the one that hurt me."

Bruce frowned, but Mr. J began to laugh his crackling laugh. "Ha, ha, ha, _haaaaaaaaaaa_." He turned to my fiancé. "Doc, you look like her assailant." He cocked his head to the side. "Huh. I never noticed it before, but she's right."

Bruce didn't seem to find this funny at all.

"Harls." Mr. J took my bruised face in his soft hands and wiped away my tears. "This is my doctor, he won't hurt you. I promise. He just looks like Brucie that's all."

"Stay with me?" I whispered and he nodded, pressing a kiss against my temple.

One swollen black eye, one split lip, one bruised cheek-bone, two broken ribs, one bruised collarbone. And who would have thought that one body could ever look so blue and green? The doctor looked at me, pressed spots on my body and seemed to find more and more injuries with time.

"Miss Quinzel, we are going to wrap a bandage around your torso." The man who looked like Bruce said. "To stabilize your ribs. It is vital that you do not move or lift heavy things for the next few weeks and we will check them regularly."

I nodded, barely hearing what he said. Mr. J helped me stand up, taking my hands in his and steadying me.

"You'll be ok." He promised and I didn't know how to respond to that.

The doctor wrapped a large white bandage around me and I was suddenly in a completely different situation from a few weeks before...

" _There we go." The saleswoman smiled brightly. "Now that we have your measurements we can find the perfect dress."_

 _I smiled back and she vanished behind the thick curtain taking the measuring tape with her. I sat down on the small bench in the changing room. This was happening, really and actually happening, I could still barely believe it. My phone vibrated in the pocket of my jeans that were lying on the floor._

Hi beautiful, are you in your white dress yet?

 _I grinned as I replied:_ Actually in my underwear ;-) she's bringing the first dress now.

 _His reply came within minutes._ Will you send a picture? :)

 _I laughed and then the curtain opened again and the blonde saleswoman came inside._

" _Are you ready?"_

" _Yes!" I threw the phone on the jeans and she showed me the first dress she had picked out. It was_

 _long, the waist slim, covered in a flowery pattern, it had no straps, revealing the brides neck and the cleavage wasn't too deep. The dress had a wide skirt, but not too wide, not like a princess' dress. It was perfect._

 _The saleslady helped me inside and as I turned around to the mirror I was surprised to find tears in my own eyes._

" _It's..."_

" _Perfect?" She asked with a smile, handing me a handkerchief._

" _Yes." I laughed and dabbed at my tears feeling more like a woman than I had in any moment in my entire life. The saleswoman stepped behind me and put the veil in my long curly hair._

" _Are you ready to show it to your mother and friend?"_

 _I nodded and wiped at my tears one last time, glad that I hadn't put on any make-up today. She opened the curtain and we stepped outside and I followed her to Sara and my mother, who were also both in tears when they saw me._

" _Oh Harleen!" Mum sobbed. "You look so beautiful!"_

 _Sara nodded beside her. Her curly her jumping up and down. "That dress was made for you!"_

 _The saleswoman was smiling brightly. "Turn around, Miss Quinzel, so we can see it from all sides."_

 _I turned and the dress swirled around me. It was perfect. It truly was made for me. Just like he was._

" _Would you like to try on another?" She asked and I found myself laughing._

" _Actually no." I stroked the white dress with a smile. "This is it."_

 _The blonde smiled. "It doesn't happen often that the first dress is the right one, but I agree with you. You truly are a beauty."_

" _Thank you." I turned to the mirror and looked at the dress flowing down my body. This was really happening and I had it all. The perfect man. The perfect dress. My life was perfect. All my dreams were coming true._

" _I'm not just saying this and I do mean it." The saleswoman said behind me. "You are truly the most beautiful bride I have ever seen."_

 _Sara grinned beside her. "You are, Harleen. The most beautiful bride in the world."_

" _With the most loving groom in the world." Mum said with a smile, dabbing at her eyes with a tissue. "A match made in heaven."_

"Ow!" I muttered as the doctor pulled the bandage tighter.

"Sorry." He muttered which was ridiculous, because he had done nothing wrong. He was the only one helping me.

"Have you got some pills for her?" Mr. J asked from his position behind me where he had been standing during my ordeal with his hands securely on my shoulders.

"Sure Mr. Joker." Dr. Ehrens smiled and it lit up his handsome face. "Miss Quinzel, you need a lot of rest, I will give you some painkillers, but if the pain intensifies or you feel nauseous or dizzy do not hesitate to call me."

"Thank you."

He smiled a smile that reminded me of my father, when he'd still been alive and had helped me when I'd fallen of my bike and scraped my knee. I'd been seven and he had been the kindest man in my world.

"Take good care of yourself." He looked behind me at Mr. J. "You're in good hands here."

He left and Mr. J led me back to the bed and helped me put on my blouse again. As he buttoned it up I thought about how strange that was. His fingers on the buttons and he wasn't opening them. It was all so wrong. I'd never thought his was happen, him helping me get dressed and not undressing me. Bruce hitting me. Everything was so messed up. .

"Do you need anything?" He asked.

"Have you got something to eat?"

"Sure." He sounded surprised. "What do you want?"

"A cheeseburger." The word had left my mouth before I'd realised what I was saying. "And fries, the salty ones and..." As I said it, I only realised how hungry I was. "Tomato juice."

He stared at me for a long moment and I could see he was trying to figure out of I was joking or was actually serious about this.

"Tomato juice?"

I nodded and suddenly was so hungry and wanted just what I had described so badly.

"Ok." He said, still confused. "It's just...I can get you _any_ thing from this city, whatever you want, lamb chops, lobster, caviar...anything at all."

"Cheeseburger and fries are perfect."

He continued to stare at me and I wondered how many times that happened that someone played a joke on the Joker. "Ok. I'll have Johnny get it for you."

"Thank you."

Man that tomato juice sounded so good. I sat down on the bed again and looked around at the rich furniture and the small details. Purple and green was everywhere. His colours. And dabs of blue and red, my favourite colours as he knew. He had put so much heart into decorating this room for me and I started to cry at the thought.

Bruce had bought me the perfect dress and had said the price didn't matter. He wanted me to have whatever I wanted.

But I had never wanted this.

The door opened and he came inside. When he saw me crying, he pulled me against him and I sobbed against his chest. He never said a word, he just held me as if he knew how I felt and as I thought back to our therapy sessions I realised he did. He knew what it was like to feel hurt and disappointed and weak. He'd been in a similar situation before.

When Johnny knocked on the door with my food I stood up and went into the bathroom. I avoided the mirror, I couldn't stand the sight of my face and washed it with cold water, trying to cool it off. When I came back Mr. J handed me my cheeseburger and we sat down on the floor on pillows, sharing two large fries between us. I leaned against the bed. He didn't want any of the tomato juice even though I asked him twice.

We ate in silence and after wiping my lips with a tissue I said: "I need to call Bruce."

Mr. J sent me a dark glare that almost had me flinching and I explained with a sigh:

"Tonight's our engagement party – I need to tell him I'm not coming."

"If your guy beats you, you don't need to do anything any more." J said in a cold tone and I reached out to touch his hand.

"I need to call him for _me_." I looked into his blue eyes, willing him to understand. "I need to know that I will never go back to him."

He pressed his lips together, obviously not happy with this decision.

"And I need you to be here." Tears burned in my eyes and I blinked them away quickly. "I can't do this by myself."

Mr. J stood up then and left the room. I sighed. What had I expected? This guy had prepared and decorated a room just for me, had been ready to spend his life with me and I had left him stranded and now when I needed help I made him do everything for me. I should have known better. Tomorrow I'd leave.  
I sighed.

Mum would be less than forthcoming, but she was all I had left.

The door opened and Mr. J came back – a cell phone in his hands. He sat down beside me leaning against the bed and I saw the symbolism of it. I wasn't sitting on the floor by myself.

I knew Bruces phone number off my heart and wished that I didn't. Wished that I could erase all my memories. Wish that I could forget him.

"Hello?" His voice brought me back to the first time we'd met. When things had been perfect.

"Bruce, it's Harleen."

"Harleen?" He sounded surprised and I wasn't sure how I felt about that. Had he known that it was over? That I wasn't coming back? Had he not expected me to call?

"Bruce, I'm not coming to the party tonight." I was proud of the coldness in my tone and Mr. J pressed my hand with a small smile.

"What do you mean?" I could hear the rage in his voice, under the surface, ready to burst at any moment. "It's our _engagement_ party, you have to come."

"You and I are no longer engaged." I said. "It's over."

"Harleen..." He whispered. "Please don't do this."

" _You_ did this!" I snapped and it was my rage that was boiling over. "You ruined this, it's all on you. I'm not coming back, I'm not marrying you. This is over."

"But...can't we try again?"

"No."

"Can't you at least come tonight?!" And there his rage was and I flinched. "Do you realise what you make me look like, leaving me like this?! What will people think?"

"Do you really want me to come?" I felt the tears burning in my eyes again. "All bruised and bloody? What will people think then?"

He didn't answer.

"We're through, Bruce. This relationship is over."

"You can't do this to me Harleen!" He yelled and I jumped. Mr. J practically growled beside me. "Tell me where you are so we can talk about this!"

The tears streamed down my face and I tried to speak in a steady voice: "There's nothing left to talk about."

"Where are you?!"

I locked eyes with the Joker. "Somewhere safe."

"Harleen!"

"Goodbye, Bruce." I hung up before he could say anything else and took a deep shaky breath.

"You did really well, Harley." Mr. J said as he moved closer to me and put his arms around my trembling shoulders. "I'm proud of you."

"Me too." I whispered and he leaned his head against mine so that we were cheek to cheek. I tried my best to forget the good memories, tried not to remember how nice his kisses were, how warm his laughter was. The man I had loved was dead and it was time to accept that and grieve for him. And then it was time to move on.

"Are you ok?"

I turned to look at him and felt so safe just by staring into his blue eyes.

"I'm not sure." I knew nothing any more. "Thank you for being here for me."

"I told ya I'd treat you better." The seriousness of his tone made my heart flutter.

"I know." I blushed. "I remember."

He grinned because he remembered it all too well as well. The heat in the patients cell. His hands in my hair. His lips on mine. My legs around his waist. All of it was right there in his eyes. He leaned in and I knew it was going to happen right now, when a loud shrilling noise interrupted us.

It was my cell-phone. His look darkened and I pulled myself up onto my feet carefully, as I reached for my bag.

"It's just my mum." I said and pulled it out, falling onto the bed, sitting on the edge.

"Hello?"

"Harleen!" She yelled so loudly I had to hold the phone away from my ear for a moment. "You better move your butt to Bruce's house _right now!_ What on earth are you saying, you won't marry him?! Is there another man?! How dare you– "

"Mum!" I had to yell too, so she could hear me. "Bruce _beats_ me, ok?! I had to break it off before he killed me."

"That's nonsense!" She snapped. "He could never hurt anyone. He is so crushed right now, Harley. You have _no_ idea how badly you hurt him, after all he's been through, how _dare_ you do this – "

"Mum!" I cried out. "He's the one hurting me, he broke my ribs!"

"Well you must have led him to it." Mum sounded frustrated, as if this my fault in all of this was clear as day. "Is there another man? What do you expect?! You can't sleep around and then expect him to carry on treating you as well as he did. Just try harder Harley, how difficult can it be to make him happy?!"

I couldn't stop myself from crying and sobbed: "Mummy, you don't –"

"Do you know what this means for me?!" She continued. "Are you going to take care of me when I'm older? With that minimum wage of yours? Did you even think about this?! What will people say about us? They will call you a slut, they–"

Mr. J had taken the phone from me and had hang up. His arms encircled me as I fell forward against him, sobbing my heart out harder than ever before. Again he said nothing because he understood that there was nothing to say. That I had lost the love of my life and my mother in one evening.

"Mothers are totally overrated." He whispered as he wiped away my tears. "I didn't have a real Mum either and look at how great I turned out."

I laughed because we'd met in a psychiatric facility for the insane.

"You're going to be ok, Harley." He promised. "You don't need them."

I nodded, willing to believe it.

"Say it."

"I don't need them."

He grinned. "Louder."

"I don't need them!"

Mr. J stepped back, pulling me to my feet. "Say it again, baby."

"I don't need them!" I yelled now and felt it as I said it, felt the freeing sensation of it. "I don't need them! Those fucking, lying, selfish bastards! I don't need them! I don't–" My hand flew to my mouth as nausea swept up over me.

"Harley?" He stepped forward and I rushed past him into the bathroom, throwing up all the beloved food I'd been craving just half an hour ago.

"I'll call the doctor!" He called from outside and I heard a hint of panic in his voice.

"Don't bother." I croaked from inside, straightening up and washing my mouth with water. My heart had sank into my stomach, because I knew exactly what was wrong.

"This is serious." He came inside. "You might have a concussion."

"I haven't." I promised, because I'd had a suspicion for a while now.

He gave me an amused look. "The tomato juice was too much, wasn't it?"

I shook my head, took a deep breath and finally said my fears out loud: "Mr. J. I think I'm pregnant."

* * *

Please tell me what you think! :)


	4. Wasted Crying

A/N: Guys! I am SO SO sorry! There's absolutely no way I can apologize for taking SO LONG to update. Thank you so much for all of your reviews and messages, especially thank you Ellekacy. I was away from ff so long and it was only per coincidence that I saw your reviews. Your comment to "House of Cards" brought me back. Thank you so much!

* * *

 **IV**

" **Wasting Crying"**

 _I know I can treat you better than he can_

 _And any girl like you deserves a gentleman_

 _Tell me, why are we wasting time_

 _On all your wasted crying_

 _When you should be with me instead?_

 _I know I can treat you better_

 _Better than he can_

* * *

"Well Harley." Mr. J looked down at me with pity written all over his face. "You're pregnant."

We had 25 pregnancy tests to prove it. The doctor had taken my blood after the tenth positive one

and was rushing to get it tested. Then I just continued to do the tests for the sake of it really.

"Congratulations." He said coldly and I sighed deeply. "Bet you wished, you'd sealed the deal with

me now, don't ya?"

I only glared at him, but he was right. This baby wasn't his. He'd always wanted to have sex at

Arkham and while I'd gone pretty far considering he'd been my patient and I'd been at work, I'd been hesitant to "seal the deal" even though he'd constantly tried to change my mind. I couldn't even lie to him and pretend like it was his.

It was definitely Bruce's child. As if he'd read my mind Mr. J asked:

"Was there anyone else?"

I shook my head and wasn't even offended at the question. I was having a baby. I was having Bruce Wayne's baby. I was having the baby of the man I had just sent away, because he had beat me.

I was screwed.

"What should I do now?" I whispered more to myself than to anyone else, but Mr. J heard and stood up from the bed.

"Well." He said. "I am not going to tell you what to do Harley. But I will tell you what you are _not_ going to do, you ready?"

I nodded, glad for any advice at this moment. Mr. J pulled the chair to the bed, like the doctor had, and sat down in front of me, peering into my face.

"You will not", he said, "count on me for stepping in. There's not chance in hell I'm raising someone else's kid, you got me?"

I nodded, I honestly hadn't expected anything else.

"And the second thing you will _not_ do is tell Brucie anything about this."

Mr. J knew me too well. I dropped my gaze.

"What do you think will happen?!" He snapped. "He'll stop beating you, because of the baby? Chances are he'll end up killing you both."

I covered my face with both of my hands. He was right of course. I knew he was right. The prospect of my own death had led me here after all. The baby wasn't safe with Bruce.

"Do you want to know your options?" Mr. J asked, reaching out to tuck my hair behind my ear.

I nodded and took my hands from my face.

"Well you can keep it and raise it by yourself." He said this as if it were the easiest thing in the world, but it wasn't. This baby had no father and no grandparents. I had no one to count on.

"You can give birth to it and hand it off to other people for adoption." I didn't know how I felt about

adoption to be honest. This child would grow inside of me for nine months and then I'd just...give it away?

"Or you could have an abortion." He said it without hesitation, without warning. Like this was the most normal thing in the world, completely common and I wondered if maybe it was for him.

Something he recommended to friends all the time.

"Dr. Ehrens can do one if you like."

I stood up hastily, pushing him away from me. "I can't have an abortion, Mr. J!"

"Why not?"

"Because it's murder!" I snapped at him.

He rolled his eyes and huffed. "No it's not. Scientists have proven–"

"I don't care." I interrupted him not at all in the mood for this discussion. "For me it's murder and I'm not going to do it."

Mr. J held up his hands defensively. "Whatever you say, Harls. But you do know that it will be the easiest solution? It will be as if it never happened and you and I can go back to where we'd been before." He paused and then added: "I don't date single mums, just so you know."

"Shut up!" I groaned, covering my face with my hands. "This is no time for jokes!"

He sulked when he looked at me and I realized that if jokes were something bad then I was offending him per definition. But what was I doing? This man was not fit for a family, he'd just said so himself. And I wasn't fit for a family just by myself.

"I should call Bruce."

Anger flared up in his face and it was so familiar I honestly thought he was going to smack me in the face.

"Harley. Don't."

"I can't have an abortion." I felt tears in my eyes again. "I just can't."

"You don't have to decide today." He said in a soft tone. "Take a few days and think about it."

A few days didn't sound like enough time for a decision like this. But I knew I couldn't take too long. If I did have the abortion then I had to do it quickly. But how could I do that? No matter what had happened, Bruce was still the father of this baby, did I really have the right to take it away from him without even talking to him about it?

My phone rang again and we both jumped. He reached for it before I could and looked at the display.

"It's some Sara." He said.

I nodded. "She's my friend."

I held out my hand to take the phone from him. He looked at me, down at the display again and then back at me and looked unhappy. As if the idea of me having friends made displeased him. I waved my hand and broke his stare, he handed me the phone which hadn't stopped ringing.

"Hello?"

"Harleen?" Saras voice was shaking. "What the hell is going on?! Are you ok?"

I sat back down on the bed with a small sigh glad that she had asked me if I was ok. Mum hadn't bothered with that.

"No."

"Bruce said you left him." As she said this she tried her best to hide her emotions. "What happened?

Did he..." She lowered her voice. "Did he cheat on you or something?"

"No." I shook my head. "He'd never do that. He...he beat me."

"Beat you?" Sara repeated as if she had never heard those words before and I guessed in a way she hadn't because she'd never experienced what I'd experienced.

"Yes." I blinked away my tears. "I have two broken ribs, my face is all bruised up and my collarbone hurts like hell too..."

There was no response and I closed my eyes. She'd hung up on me. Well, it was better than blaming me.

"I don't know what to say Harleen." She whispered with a voice thick with tears and I opened my eyes again, as I realized she was still on the other line. "Where are you? What do you need?"

"I'm–" Sara was a psychiatrist too and even if she weren't I couldn't just say I was at the Jokers house. "I'm with a friend. He's taking care of me."

"Can I come and see you?"

"Eh..." I hadn't expected this from her, I'd thought I'd have to say goodbye to her for sure. "Not today, but we can meet tomorrow, if you like."

Mr. J shook his head. I could see he didn't like this idea one bit, but I didn't care. I needed all the friends I could get at the moment.

Sara and I hung up and I was suddenly overwhelmed with tiredness. It was hard to believe this had only been one day, it felt more like five months. I reached for my bag and searched through it, but I couldn't really find anything to sleep in. I looked up at Mr. J.

"Have you got something I can sleep in?" I asked and felt stupid for asking it because I wasn't sure what he expected of me now. But he had said I could stay and I wouldn't be having a baby any time soon. Maybe I could stay at Sara's.

He pointed to the large closet and I stood up to look inside. It was filled to the brim with sexy, tight dresses. When I turned around to face him, he smiled sheepishly and I felt like no matter how this continued he and I – we'd be fine.

* * *

"It's ok, Sara."

"I'm sorry." She dabbed at her eyes with a tissue and I was suddenly reminded of when I'd tried on my dress. I shook my head to shake off the memories. "You just look so bad."

"The swelling actually already looks much better than it did yesterday." I said and held up my cellphone to study my face so I could see what she saw. The minute she'd seen me she'd started to cry.

"I just can't believe Bruce would do this to you." She muttered and I looked over my shoulder, at the empty cafe, nervous someone could hear.

"Believe it." I whispered. "But keep it to yourself, please. I don't want people to know."

"You have nothing to be ashamed of." The petite blonde reached out to touch my hand. "You should sue his sorry ass and run off with all of his money. He should pay for what he's done Harleen."

I lifted my shoulders questioningly. "I don't want to go to court, Sara. I just want this all to be over."

She nodded as if she understood, but then asked: "So, you've decided then? You're not going to try again?"

I pointed at my cheekbone that had a yellowish glow and my black eye.

She sighed defeated and put her hands around the mug of steaming coffee in front of her. "It's just...you guys were so perfect for each other and so great together."

"I know." I ran my fingertip over my own coffee-mug, decaf. I decided then that I wouldn't tell Sara about the pregnancy. I'd hoped she and I could talk about it and she could give me some advice, but if she was starting to say things like that then I didn't want to tell her. Besides it didn't really make a difference anyway, I had to make the decision on my own. It's not like anyone could take it from me. I had to live with this.

"We should get a drink." Sara said, leaning back in her chair. "Things always seem less complicated with alcohol." She raised her hand to wave the young waitress over, who was working by herself in this abandoned small cafe.

"No." I said quickly and wondered what excuse I could use.

"Why not?" Sara seemed confused and that's because I was never shy too drink, I never had been actually.

"I just don't feel like it."

Her eyes grew wide, as she dropped her hand and looked at me open-mouthed.

"Oh. My. Gosh." She gasped. "You're pregnant."

"No I'm not." I lied but the blush in my cheeks spoke for itself, I knew that.

"Oh Harleen." Sara reached for my hand again. "What are you going to do?"

"I don't know." I sighed. "My friend says I should abort it, but–"

"Well you have to tell Bruce!" She interrupted me and I pulled my hand out from under hers, because from all the "advice" Mr. J had offered this had seemed the most logical. Not telling him was the only good advice he'd given me.

"No, Harley." Sara said in a soft tone. "You have to tell him. He'd never hurt his baby."

"He'd never –" I broke off my own sentence, because I was speechless. He'd never hurt his baby?

Was Sara completely insane? Wait. Was Mr. J saner than her?

"Harley." There was something hard in her eyes now. "You have to tell him. He has the right to know, your baby has a right to know."

I was surprised to see tears shimmering in her eyes and didn't know what to say.

"My Dad..." She whispered and then I remembered and suddenly I was the one to take her hand.

Sara had never known her father because her mother hadn't told him about her pregnancy. It was a hole in her life and her heart that she had learned to live with it, but it had taken years to overcome it.

"It's different." I said in a soft tone. "He was going to _kill_ me, Sara. The baby would be in danger."

Sarah shook her head and pulled her hand from mine. "Maybe that would help him. He'd never hurt his child Harleen."

I sighed. Sara and her over romanticised versions of fathers. In all my problems, at least I didn't have over-sentimental images of certain men.

"You have to tell him."

"I have to go." I said, looking for some bills in my pocket before putting them down in the table.

"Harley, no. We need to talk about this."

"We've talked enough." I snapped and I felt sorry for snapping, but this conversation had brought me to the edge of my tolerance. "I'll call you."

But I knew that I wouldn't. I couldn't. Somehow I had ended up in the situation that a notorious serial killer was my only friend in the world.

"Harley!"

I left without another word.

* * *

"Haaaaaaaaaarley..." Mr. J snickered. "What's funnier than a dead baby?"

I glared at him and he chuckled.

"Shut up."

"A dead baby in a–"

I kissed him. Not necessarily because I wanted to interrupt him, but because I was lonely. Mr. J growled and returned the kiss hungrily, pushing me back on the bed. I had cried when I'd returned and he hadn't been there. Everyone but him had fallen prey to Bruces charms. But my tears were a waste of energy. They wouldn't help me now.

"Mr. J." I muttered against his lips as his hand slid under my shirt. "Wait."

"Why?" He looked down at me with questioning blue eyes. "It's not like you can still get pregnant."

I rolled my eyes and sat up, pushing him off me.

"What?" He muttered. "It's true."

"Well you could have an STD and give it to me and that could jeopradize the baby."

His blue eyes grew wide. "I don't have an STD! Who told you that?! Was that Johnny?! I'm going to

kill him!" He pulled out his phone to call Johnny.

"No one said anything." I said as I pushed his hand with the phone down. "But I don't want to harm the baby."

He frowned and seemed genuinly confused as he sat up on the large bed.

"But why not?"

For a moment I wasn't sure if he was joking or not and realised that this was something I would have to get used to. Perhaps it was easiest to always take him seriously.

"Well because I don't want to harm my baby."

"But you're going to abort it." He said as if this was a fact. "Who cares if it's harmed?"

"I..." I didn't know what to say. "Puddin' I don't know if I'm having an abortion."

"Don't be ridiculous!" He snorted as he stood up from the bed. "What else will you do?" He raised his eyebrows at me. "Harley-Darling, I told you: I am not raising someone else's child. I am not paying for someone else's child."

"You said you loved me." I whispered and felt tears burn in my eyes.

"I do love you." He sat down beside me again and his voice had become soft once more. "Abortions are expensive and I will pay for it, that's how much I love you."

I shook my head. It was wrong. I couldn't do this. But I couldn't tell Bruce. And adoption?

"I don't know what to do."

"I already told you what to do."

"Yesterday you said you wouldn't tell me what to do." I was so confused and so tired.

"Darling, I have like 5 personalities, I always say something different." He kissed my head. "Get some sleep."

"But–"

"We'll wait with the sex until after your abortion!" He cried out happily, as he left the room.

I fell back onto the bed with a sigh.

Abortion was out of the question. So was adoption. If I had this baby I couldn't have it here in Gotham. Everyone would know that it was Bruce's. He would know. And if I carried it to term I wouldn't be able to give it up. And Mr. J and I were finally together now...

Then again...what if Sara was right? It was Bruces child after all...didn't he have a right to know? Could I just make this decision without including him?

That wasn't right either.

I stood up from the bed to have a shower and brush my teeth. Mr. J had stocked our own personal bathroom with everything I could possible want and more.

An hour later I still hadn't come any closer to making a decision. So, dressed in a pink night gown and a white fluffy bathroom with _H &J_ printed across my chest I made my way down the stairs to look for Mr. J.

Maybe it was time to just distract myself from this and what better distraction was there than the Joker himself?

"Miss Quinzel?"

I looked up and saw Johnny standing in the large living room.

"Where's Mr. J?"

"The boss is out." He replied and stood up. "Do you want me to call him?"

I was pretty sure that wanting to hang out with the man who was not my boyfriend, but the closet thing to it was it a reason to have him cancel his plans. He could have been in the middle of an important meeting and I didn't want to pull him away from that.

"No." I said. "But thanks."

He nodded once with a tight smile and I went back upstairs, feeling stupid in this fluffy bathrobe. What had I been thinking? Mr. J wasn't my friend. I couldn't trust him. I was all alone in the world and utterly screwed.

It was time to do the only sensible thing.

"Harleen?" He answered after one ring. "Is it really you?"

I swallowed.

"Hi Bruce." There was only silence on the other end of the line. "We need to talk."

* * *

What do you guys think? We only have two more chspters to go and then the story's finished! Thank you again for all of your support :)


End file.
